If I Had a Baby, I'd Be Broke

It's no secret to anyone who knows me that I have a shopping problem.  I've blogged about it, I've talked about it, and there are a few of you out there who have actually witnessed it.  I'm the person who goes along on a shopping trip to offer support or an opinion, not intending on buying anything, and end up spending more than everyone else.  I do that. 

There are times when I think that I'm getting better, where I can sit there and tell myself that quality over quantity is a good thing (I used to be terrible at buying in multiples).  I tell myself that there's truly no reason that I need backpacks in 25L, 30L, and 38L sizes...yet I have all three of those and am currently scoping out a 35L on eBay.  To what end?  Why?  Most normal people can exist with just one backpack, maybe two, yet here I am with 3 (4 if you count the monster), and find myself wanting another.  It all comes down to features.  Each of these packs have different features that I like, but not a one of them has ALL the features that I like.  If Osprey would have continued to make their smallish packs with the mesh stuffable pocket on the front (back for Simon) of the bag, then I wouldn't be in this predicament.  I'm rationalizing...can you tell?

Which brings me to babies.  There are a lot of babies in my life right now.  Between friends and family, there are far too many youngsters, and there are just way too many cute articles of baby clothing out there.  I've lately been stalking www.Carters.com (they have a fantastic clearance selection) and buying copious amounts of clothing for some of the babies in my life.  Some, not all, for if I tried to buy clothing for all the babies in my life, I truly would be broke, and that would be sad.  I'd have to sell my backpacks, amongst other things.

I'm heading back to Minnesota in a couple days, and I kid you not, half of my rollie suitcase is packed with baby clothes...and I'm only going to be seeing 2 babies.  I almost don't have enough room for my own clothes.  I, myself, am actually packing light, which is kind of a first.  I'm not known for packing light, but in this case my hand is being forced.

Weeks ago when I was purchasing said baby clothes, Simon and I were lounging on the couch.  He was watching something on TV, and I was furiously scrolling on my iPad, trying to decide between a set of 3 month onesies and 6 month onesies...it ended up being a moot decision because in the end I just bought both.  I'm a big fan of onesies.  Odds are good that if you get baby clothing from me, it's most likely going to be onesies.  They're so versatile!  And really, can a baby have too many onesies?  The snaps in the crotch make them easy to get on, easy to get off, easy to change a diaper...they're pretty much the ideal piece of clothing.  I figure that having too many onesies is a problem that doesn't actually exist.  If I had children, they would be in onesies (and probably little else) until the day they were too big for onesies.  And then I would cry because I would actually have to dress my children, who at that point would have been so conditioned to onesies that they'd probably hate me for putting pants on them.  Honestly.  Cramming an infant into skinny jeans and a cute sweater?  Not going to happen.  I'm all about the onesie.  And people wonder why I don't have children.

Anyway, back on topic...so the purchasing of the onesies played out like that Saturday Night Live skit with Adam Sandler and Chris Farley...where Chris (me) is the old woman reading from the Zagat guide and Adam (Simon) is the old man who just can't listen to his wife blather on anymore.  "Ravioli?  Holy Canoli!"  You know the one.  If you don't, you can watch it here.  One of my all time favorites.  So that's me and Simon on the couch, looking at baby clothes together.  Luckily he didn't chuck the iPad across the room, nor did he take an entire bottle of sleeping pills in the interest of not having to listen to me anymore.  He did, however, talk me out of several items of clothing...he's good at talking sense into me...most of the time.

So yeah...good thing I don't have children...they'd have a larger wardrobe than me (mostly onesies), and I'd be completely broke.