A Resolution of Sorts...

Every year I say that I'm not going to do a New Year's resolution, and almost every year I end up doing one anyway.  I don't even remember what my resolution from last year was...I suppose I could look back through my blog posts and figure it out, because I'm sure I wrote about it, but I can't be bothered to care right this moment.  The reasoning is two-fold...either the resolution became a way of life and I don't care to reflect on what I was doing beforehand, or the resolution fizzled out and I don't care to be made aware of my failure to make a meaningful change.  My life is pretty good as-is, so I'll just go with that.

My resolution for 2016 might come as a surprise to most people in my life.  I've actually only talked about it with a few people, mostly because it's difficult to empathize with, and partly because it's something that seems at odds with how I've been living my life since, well, forever.  Another reason not to mention it all that much is my previous disdain for the whole idea.

I've decided that I'm going to stop eating mammals.  I know, I know, to some people I'm known as the bacon-monster...that there is no such thing as too much bacon, so how could I possibly cut myself off from eating something that previously gave me so much culinary delight?  It's rather simple, come to find out.  I've actually been practicing the no-mammals thing for most of December, and despite my fears that it would be life-changing (in a bad way), as of this writing today, it really hasn't been much of a struggle at all.

For one, I think the ease of cutting out mammals comes from the fact that this is a choice that I made myself.  No one told me that I could no longer eat pork or beef...it was my decision to do so.  Those are always the easiest decisions to make.  For two, the consumption of mammals has been relatively easy to avoid.  I've been trying new vegetarian dishes, and while they're not always as satisfying as a burger, some of them are actually quite good.  I've also been eating more fish and seafood, and I've really been enjoying that.  I still eat chicken, but I've been trying to cut down on that as well.  Baby steps, you see. 

I'm definitely a meat-eater at heart, but I started with mammals because I don't eat much beef or pork to begin with, so it was easier to cut them out.  When I do cook at home (which is a rarity these days), I tend to make breakfast food, something with chicken in it, or something that has no meat in it at all simply because I'm lazy and don't want to take the time to prepare it.  Cutting out beef and pork at home was probably the easiest part of this.  I can't even remember the last time I bought beef...nor pork, for that matter.  I do have a couple jars of bacon drippings still hanging out in the freezer...if any of you from Flagstaff would like them, let me know, otherwise I'm probably just going to throw them away.

Going out to eat has been more of a challenge, but again, not as difficult as I had thought it would be.  Given the diversity of most menus at restaurants, I've been able to order something either vegetarian or with sea food that's been rather enjoyable.  I can't remember where I was, but sometime in early December I had a hamburger somewhere, and it just didn't sit well afterwards.  I don't know if it was psychological or if maybe the meat wasn't super fresh or very good quality or what, but it just kind of reaffirmed my idea to cut it out completely.

I think what has been the weirdest and most surprising thing of all, is that I don't miss eating beef and pork.  When I started out with this idea, I really thought it would be more of a struggle, but it hasn't been.  I guess it's just one of those things that once you get over the idea of it being gone, you just get over it and move on.  I went through this a few years ago with Doritos.  Once I made up my mind to quit buying them, I just did and nothing bad happened.  I just ate other things.  I still occasionally will binge on Doritos (I really think there's crack in those things), and I pretty much always pay for it in one way or another, but I enjoy them differently now.  They're an indulgence and I appreciate them more when I do allow myself to have some...or the whole bag...you know, might as well make it worth it, right? 

Now to the "why," because people always care about that part, as if maybe my justification for not eating something that they enjoy will help clarify why I'm not eating mammals.  It's funny how much people have been paying attention to my diet since I stopped eating mammals in December.  Well, I should clarify...the ones who knew I wasn't eating mammals versus the ones who didn't.  The ones who didn't know didn't notice, but the ones who did know suddenly became very interested in everything I ate.  Some almost appeared offended that I was no longer eating meat, as if I was insulting them by cutting something out of my own personal diet, but that they still enjoyed.  I was quite taken aback by it at first, but then I remembered how weirded out I was over the years when some of my friends became vegetarians...I felt that I had to defend myself for eating meat.  I asked the same questions then that my friends are asking me now: "But what about bacon?"  It always comes back to the bacon...hahaha!  "You're never going to eat meat again?"  I don't know...maybe, maybe not.  I can't answer that question at the moment, not knowing how this dietary change will affect me.  "What are you, some kind of hippie?"  Those damn, dirty hippies, turning all us regular folks against bacon.  "God put animals on this earth for us to eat."  I love that one...if he truly did put animals on this earth for us to eat, did he intend for us to treat them the way they're treated in huge factory farms (I'll touch on that later)?  I think not.

I feel as though the meat eaters in my life are going to hold me to stricter rules than I hold myself, that the first time I eat pork or beef (whether on purpose or by accident), they're going to be right there pointing fingers and exposing my lack of will.  I honestly think this change would go over better if meat simply made me sick, so then I would have a physical rationalization for cutting it out, rather than a psychological or philosophical reason for doing so.   

I guess the main reasons I'm no longer eating mammals are multi-factorial.  One of the things that put this idea in my head was a trip to Gilbert, AZ several years ago.  My brother lived down there, and in order to get to his house, I had to drive past several large dairy operations.  The smell was unlike anything I've ever smelled in my life...the putrid stench of urine and feces was unbearable.  And it gave me pause...do I really want to consume anything that comes out of a place that smells like that?  Granted, that was a dairy farm, not a beef farm, but beef feedlots are quite similar.  Drive on I-80 through Nebraska, or I-40 through north Texas, or take a trip outside Greeley, Colorado (there's a reason it's called "Cow-Sh*t City) and you'll smell the feedlots before you even lay eyes on them, depending on which way the wind is blowing.  Nothing but cattle as far as the eye can see, not a single blade of grass for them to stand on, to lie down on, to eat.  Most of the pens don't even have shelters for the animals in the event of inclement weather.  It's just gross, and here in America, that's where the majority of our meat comes from.  I don't like the idea of it from an animal welfare standpoint, but what continues to be the "ick" factor for me is the smell.  I just can't get past it.  I don't think any living creature should be made to live in those conditions, and certainly not for my benefit.

Another reason I no longer want to consume mammals is because, truth be told, I enjoy them.  I love pigs and cows.  I think they're funny, silly little creatures with personalities, and with a capacity to learn, to feel enjoyment, pain, and fear.  Pigs are actually smarter than some breeds of dogs (ahem, pugs), and despite their reputation for being dirty, they are actually quite clean creatures if given the opportunity and the space to do so.  I'll never forget a friend's story about a pig they were raising, and how he would rifle though the table scraps looking for the strawberry tops, and how he would close his eyes and smack his lips, getting so much enjoyment out of the little bits of fruit that still clung to the greens.  He eventually met the fate of most pigs and became food for the people who were raising him, but what a life he had right up until then.  And that's the thing...I guess I feel that if you're going to eat an animal that has the capacity to enjoy life, then at least let it enjoy that life while it has the time to do so.  Let it eat strawberries, let it run around in the grass, give it shelter, keep it safe, keep it healthy...you know, all those things that us people feel we deserve for ourselves.

Of course, I'm fully aware that fish and chickens are also capable of feeling pain.  And maybe at a more primitive level, are capable of enjoyment and fear.  In a perfect world, I would have all kinds of time and research and options to cut animal consumption out of my life completely (Whoa...did I just make a vague reference to becoming vegan?  Certainly not...), but Rome was not built in a day, and changing years of eating habits won't happen overnight.  I know that factory chicken farms are pretty gross, and the thought of all those birds being stuffed into a big building with little fresh air, no access to the outdoors, and no access to bugs, grass and other things that they might find given the chance to roam on their own.  I see the term "vegetarian fed" on cartons of eggs in the store and find it confusing...chickens love to eat bugs and worms and little lizards and all kinds of little living creatures.  Eating nothing but a vegetarian diet isn't what they would naturally be eating.  Although, maybe saying "vegetarian fed" just means that there's no animal by-products in their feed, which is a good thing, I guess.  I am also perfectly aware that the dairy industry is just as bad, if not worse, than the beef industry when it comes to animal welfare.  In fact, I'm almost certain that the dairy industry is worse...but I love cheese.  I honestly think I could give up almost all other forms of animal products if I could just keep my cheese.  I tell myself that dairy cows don't have to die for me to have cheese, but I've seen large scale dairy operations...the cows are treated terribly, and it's true that there are fates worse than death.  I just can't cut out everything all at once and still expect to have any sort of success with it.  So these are the current lines that have been drawn: No pork, no beef.  Will work on the rest at a later date.

I have been trying to be better about obtaining what meat I do eat from responsible sources.  There are a few small farms here in the area that specialize in chickens, eggs, dairy, goat dairy, etc.  There are even some that have been certified humane for their beef and pork production.  If I can't raise it myself, then the least I can do is try to make sure that someone else is raising it right.  I really miss our egg co-op...that was the best.  Those were the happiest chickens I had ever seen, and certainly the best eggs I have ever eaten.  They spent all day running around the yard, digging through the compost, eating bugs, and laying eggs with reckless abandon.  They were friendly and funny and most of them didn't bat an eye about being picked up or petted.  They used to follow us around hoping that we would open the feed bin and give them a little snack.  There is a milking-goat farm in a nearby town that I want to go see.  Mostly because I think goats are hilarious, but partly because the farm is a small operation and produces some really good goat cheese.  I like to support the little guys when I can.           

From an environmental standpoint, the raising of large mammals for food just isn't efficient.  Here in America we really don't care all that much about it because currently, we're not wanting for anything.  We have it really good here, and all our needs are met.  But at what cost?  Water, for one.  Raising large animals for food consumes mass quantities of water, and at a time when the western half of the country is crying out for water (yet they're still watering their yards...go figure...that needs to stop, and the golf courses need to stop right along with it...ridiculous to be in a drought and still watering golf courses...but I digress...), we're using vast quantities of water on huge amounts of cattle for an excessive amount of meat.  Another detrimental side-effect of the meat industry is pollution...both water, air, and land pollution.  I won't get too in-depth on this topic, mostly because I still have a lot of research to do, and I've already made the decision to refrain from mammals, so this ideology kind of takes care of itself, I guess.  There is a documentary called Cowspiracy that delves into the environmental impact of raising animals for food.  I haven't watched it yet, mostly because I know I'm going to be saddened and disgusted, but partially because most of the reviewers who have watched it make comments about how they became vegan immediately after watching it.  I'm guessing it's a pretty powerful flick, and I'm a coward to keep putting it off, but I'm just not ready.  I don't know if I'll ever be.  What is seen cannot be unseen.         

I have a friend (and a very inspirational vegetarian-esque eater) who no longer labels herself as a vegetarian due to the fact that she's started to add chicken back into her diet due to her body's dietary needs.  She's said she quit using the label of vegetarian because it wasn't accurate if she was eating chicken, and because she didn't care for all the criticism she was getting for providing her body with nutrition from sources that she had previously ruled out.  And to be fair, this girl was never the type of vegetarian who scorned people for eating meat.  It was her choice, and her choice alone...everyone else was free to eat as they pleased.  She was well-informed and ready with a wealth of information as to why she wasn't eating meat should anyone ask.  And I guess that's kind of why I hesitate to label myself as this-thing or that-thing...people are always quick to judge when you label yourself as one thing and then fall outside the established parameters of it.  When really, I'm the only one who should really care about what I'm eating or not eating.  And honestly, the only reason I'm really sharing any of this is because that's what you do with your friends...you share things.  I honestly didn't want to say anything to anyone about it at all, knowing that it would be difficult to understand and that I would be met with resistance.  But honestly, I think most of my friends will be supportive...not that I expect them to cater to my dietary choices, but if we're having dinner together and they choose to make chicken instead of pork, well, that would be awesome.  Personal dietary choices are just that...personal.  

So, now that that's all out in the open, it's time for the disclaimer.  I don't expect anyone to cater to my dietary restrictions.  Just because I'm not eating some forms of meat, doesn't mean that I expect everyone else to refrain as well.  This is my choice, and my choice alone (well, Simon is doing it too, which is helpful because he's more strong-willed than I am...he's actually been cutting out meat for longer than I have).  I said from the beginning that I don't want my dietary choices to affect my relationships with my friends and family.  Food is a huge part of being social, and I don't want people to feel like they can't invite me over for dinner because I might judge them for eating pork or beef.  I won't judge what others are eating, and while I might not partake in eating beef or pork the vast majority of the time, there is a chance that I just might use dinner with friends as a chance to indulge...much like my Dorito binges.  One of my last meals of 2015 was a Polish-style pork cutlet prepared by my friend's wife, who happens to be from Poland.  It's one of her specialties, and honestly, when I am going to get the opportunity to have Polish food prepared by a Polish person?  It was absolutely fantastic, by the way...a perfect indulgence.  And I can't go back to Minnesota and not eat Tater Tot Hotdish (although I have made it with ground chicken...tastes almost exactly the same).  My friendships are so important to me, and I'm not going to let dietary choices get in the way of that.  As long as there is a mutual respect there (my choice to not eat it versus their choice to eat it), I don't think there will be a problem.   

We'll see...this is all so new that I have no idea how it's going to go, but I'm not the first meat-eater in the history of meat-eaters to become mostly vegetarian.  I don't expect enthusiastic support in my dietary choices, but at a minimum I do ask for for indifference, and definitely would appreciate that any ridicule be kept to a minimum.  I realize this is difficult, but it truly should only be difficult for me.  Honestly, if I truly wanted to be difficult, I would just give up beer...but that's never going to happen.  I just learned today that beer (the barley in beer, to be exact) has a decent amount of nutritional value.  And here I've been wasting all this money on multivitamins.  Go figure.