Yes, another blog about poop.
So, it's become apparent to me that adults poop their pants way more often than they admit. Not that I expect everyone to go around admitting that they've pooped themselves at some point as an adult, but I had been operating under the impression that adults pooping themselves is a rarity. Not so, as I've come to find out.
If you can get people comfortable enough to talk about it, I would say that more people than not have had some form of pants-pooping as an adult. Whether that comes in the form of an unexpected shart or a full-on turd depends on the person and the situation.
I'm obviously not going to name any names, as people told me their poop stories in confidence, but I've found that pooping one's pants happens in the most strange and normal of places. In the car on a road trip. In line for the bathroom at a restaurant. At home on the couch. Strolling along in the mall. After a few days in a foreign country. In Target or WalMart. At work. At a concert. After eating some sketchy food. While traveling in a foreign country. While camping in a tent. Sometimes it comes without warning, sometimes it sneaks up on a person, sometimes there isn't a bathroom and the butthole just loses the battle. Sorry, that was graphic, but that's how it goes. We are talking about pooping our pants, after all. I just find it so interesting. It's like the body hair thing, or the period thing...our bodies do some really weird, and admittedly, really gross things...think of what we could learn about each other and our own bodies if we were just willing to talk about some of these things? Would we be less embarrassed about pooping ourselves if we knew that a significant number of our peers had done it as well?
I was having a conversation about this with some people at work...nurses are their most forthcoming when the sleep deprivation delirium sets in at around 4am. I presented the concept of adults pooping their pants to my coworkers, and they found the topic to be intriguing, but also rather odd. None of them admitted to pooping their pants, but they found the idea of other adults admitting to me that they had pooped their pants to be somewhat fascinating. Who were these people who had not only pooped their pants, but were also willing to talk about it? Perhaps I just bring that out in people...I do seem more willing than most people I know to broach those uncomfortable topics. It's interesting that they trust me enough to talk about it. We usually end up laughing for hours about it. What else are you gonna do, cry?
And here's the thing...I work in healthcare, so I'm pretty desensitized to bodily functions. I work with people who are at their sickest, and who are receiving medications that don't always agree with their bodies. Patients are constipated from one medication that we give them, so we administer another one to combat the constipation...and then they get diarrhea. A lot of patients poop themselves, I'm just gonna come right out and say it. It's gotten to the point where I don't really even think twice about it. It's almost like it's normal to poop oneself when in the hospital. Although, the patients don't see it that way...typically they are horribly embarrassed and mortified. I did have one guy several months ago who was waiting on an abdominal surgery...I helped him up in the night, noticing a bit of poo in the bed. He noticed too, looked at me and nonchalantly said, "Well, apparently I shit myself." Apparently so. He didn't seem too upset by it, so I had to wonder...had this happened before? Or was it just that he was that sick and uncomfortable that he couldn't be bothered to care about a little poo on the sheets? I didn't want to get into it too much...people in the hospital don't typically like to talk about pooping themselves. I try to make light of it when it does happen...my favorite phrase is, "Better out than in." They usually crack a smile and agree. It's all about perspective.
So if you're wondering if the subject of this blog comes about due my own personal pants pooping experience, the answer is no. I haven't pooped my pants since the 1st grade, which was a horribly traumatic experience. I still blame the teacher who refused to let me go to the bathroom for that one. I also blame her for making me sit it in for the rest of the school day. Water under the bridge after all these years? I think not. I'm actually quite terrified of pooping my pants. Who isn't, I guess. Simon thinks it's weird that I try to only toot when I'm on the toilet. The reason is simple...in the alleged words of Jack Nickolson, 'Never trust a fart.' I don't care what anyone says, and given the conversations that I've had in the past few months, I'd say those are words to live by.
Happy pooping! Wherever you find yourself doing it. Hopefully not in your pants, but c'est la vie...at least it'll make for a good story, should you be brave enough to share it.
No comments:
Post a Comment