So I have this random list of goals. I think we all have them. Some are realistic, some not so much. Some of us are where we thought we'd be at our current age, some are so far from where they thought they'd be they wonder how they got there in the first place. And that can be a wonderful thing. If you had asked me at 21 where I thought I would be at 33, it definitely wouldn't be moving across the country multiple times a year with intermittent residences in my parents' basement. I always get a kick out of that, telling people that at 33 years old I still live in my parents' basement. At 21 I had this idea that I would have been married, owned a house, worked at Mayo Clinic, and had all the children I was going to have by age 30. So far, I've obtained none of those things. I worked at Mayo for a few years, I owned a house for just under 2 years, I had my new shiny red Jeep, I had my three wonderful little dogs, and was just waiting for that man to come into my life to complete the "married with kids" portion of my life. He never showed up. And thank goodness for that.
Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed myself in Rochester, but I wasn't necessarily happy. I felt like I was always waiting for the next thing to happen, like there was something more just around the bend. And as I watched my friends disappear one by one into their own marriages and families, I began to realize that maybe that life wasn't my path. My first breakthrough moment happened in the fall of 2004, right after I had ended my relationship with Marshal, my boyfriend at the time. My good friend Pritish was having a party at his house, and he invited me to attend. I didn't have anyone to go with, and after a lot of pep talking, I went by myself. When I walked into his apartment, everyone in the room turned towards to the door. I didn't recognize them, they didn't recognize me, and so they all turned back to their conversations while I awkwardly stood there by myself. It seemed like a lifetime had passed (but was probably mere seconds) before someone approached me and asked me if I was looking for Pritish. I don't even remember this guy's name or who he was, but I was so grateful for his kindness. We found Pritish, and he made a big production out of introducing me to every single person in the room. And after that it was fine. I had a great time, and I made some new friends. And to think I wasn't going to go at all because I was too afraid to go alone. After that I decided I needed to put myself into uncomfortable situations, that it was good for me to get outside of my own little world. When hurricane Katrina happened, I signed up to be on one of Mayo Clinic's disaster relief crews. It made me nervous, thinking about leaving everything that I had ever known to venture into a part of the country where I had never been. I would have only been gone for two weeks, but still...it was something so out of character for me. The group I was supposed to go with ended up being cancelled, so I never did get to go. So I signed up to be part of Mayo's RN Exchange program with their campus in Arizona. The Exchange program lasts for just under three months, and I would essentially become a staff RN at the Mayo Clinic Hospital in Phoenix, AZ. So signed up. I was nervous, to say the least. And then I met my friend Jeff, who at the time was a member of the Peace Corps in Suriname, South America. He was a person who had given up all his material belongings, moved to a country where he didn't speak the language, and lived by himself in a city full of strangers. Suddenly, my move to Arizona didn't seem so harrowing. He gave me some of the best advice I've gotten in my short 33 years on this planet, and it was: "Home is always going to be there, and you can always go back whenever you want." And it's true. And that advice is still something that I hold near and dear to me to this day. It wasn't long after that that I put my house on the market, sold all my furniture, packed up my things and moved to Arizona with the intention of becoming a full-blown travel nurse.
Being a travel nurse has had its ups and downs. I basically apply, interview, and go through pre-employment screening for a new job about every three months. The paperwork is tedious and of course every hospital has different requirements. Some are legit, some are outlandish. I try to keep an open mind and a level head, but it's difficult. Simon is good at keeping me centered, and at keeping me from making phone calls I might regret in regards to HR policies and whatnot. I've so far lived in 9 different states, and have friends in cities all across the country. It's been great, and I love it. Had I not been a travel nurse, I would have never met Simon, and I can't imagine life without him. He fulfills that "married with kids" thing that I was looking for, without the need for the marriage or the kids. This definitely isn't where I thought I would be, but I'm so glad to be where I am.
So now I have new goals, and they are far less life-changing than my prior ones. In no particular order:
-Wash my face and brush my teeth twice a day. Seeing that in print makes me think I sound unhygienic. I'm really not. I shower, I'm clean, I don't stink. But there are days when I'm just too plum tired to take care of those little things. And really, they are little things. I was exhausted last night after having dinner and socializing with my family. The last thing I wanted to do was wash my face and brush my teeth...but I did it. It took mere minutes. Those are two simple little things that will be better for me in the long run.
-Floss once a day. Again, that sounds so simple. But I hate flossing. I truly loathe it. I don't know if it's because I'm creeped out by that little string between my teeth, or if it's because I gag every time I try to get behind those molars on the right upper side of my mouth. The last time I was at the dentist, I was lamenting to the hygienist about how I sporadically have dental insurance, but that I need to go to the dentist at least twice a year for a good scraping. I'm a rapid plaque accumulator...always have been. She made the comment to me that if I would just floss everyday, I would save money by not having to go to the dentist as often. There's the lightbulb. Approach with an idea in terms of saving money, and I'm on board. Those threats about gum disease and tooth loss from not flossing...eh...I'll get around that somehow. So yeah...not only will flossing save my mouth, it'll also save my wallet. So now I have to add that to my regimen, and I'm on day 5 of flossing everyday.
-Finish scrapbooking by the end of my upcoming gig in Flagstaff. So I have this bin of things that I've collected over the years with the intention of scrapbooking them. The last time I scrapbooked was the spring of 2011...and I was able to knock out like 50 pages in the span of a week or so. When I get to it, I just do it. But then I stop. I stop the scrapbooking, not the collecting of memorabilia to put in the scrapbook. Simon has proposed a goal for me that I do one page a day while I'm in Flagstaff. That's definitely an attainable goal, considering that on a good day I can complete 10 pages or more in a single sitting. I'm a simple scrapbooker...slap some photos and a movie stub on a pre-patterend page, write a little blurb and move on to the next one. I had the fancy Creative Memories stuff for a long time...the die cuts and the patterned scissors and the stickers and pins...no more of that. Just get the stuff on the page and move on. Part of what's been keeping me from scrapbooking is space. Even with my simple style, I still still require a certain amount of space to spread out all my crap so I can see everything that I'm working with. I'm hoping that with the bigger apartment this time around, I'll have more space. Part of me struggles with the idea of scrapbooking. I'm putting all this work and effort into a keepsake, and I'll have no one to pass them on to. Why bother? Maybe someone will want them. They'll be fun to flip through at my funeral, I guess.
-Run 20-30 miles per week. This one will be a bit of a struggle, but I think I can do it. Moving all the time is a bit prohibitive for working out, since I don't really have a gym membership all the time. And given that there is still 10+ inches of snow on the ground in MAY in Minnesota, I'm not running outside. I'm not that die-hard of a runner. It'll be nice when I get back to Flagstaff and can get back out to the trails. I really like trail running a lot. I've signed up for a half-marathon in Vancouver, BC in August, and I'm thinking about signing up for another one in Las Vegas in November. Having these races on the horizon keeps me motivated. And while I don't run them with the intent of being my fastest or qualifying for a more prestigious race, just finishing them makes me feel like I've accomplished something. I tell people that I'm a lazy runner, which is usually met with looks of confusion. How can a person simultaneously be a runner and lazy? Somehow, I manage to do it.
And there's that. I thought these entries would be shorter since I'm planning on blogging every day, but somehow they still manage to be just as long. My apologies.
Things I am thankful for on May 4th:
Glass water bottles
Hearing Simon on the exercise bike
Seeing my girlfriends today for a baby shower
My family
Pug snuggles
Peeter-Heaters in the Jeep
Tan lines
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