This is 40

This is 40

A couple of weeks ago, I turned 40. It wasn't scary, it wasn't traumatizing, it wasn't invigorating...truth be told, it felt like just another day. Society has taught me that 40 is supposed to be monumental in some way, but I just didn't feel it. However, given that society expects some sort of reaction to entering this decade, I'll take the time to write a little bit about what turning 40 feels like for me.

My birthday was actually very low key. My friend Ellen, her husband Fred and their two very adorable girls flew out from Minnesota to spend my birthday weekend in Flagstaff. The first night they were here, my birthday, pretty much everyone was in bed by 7:30pm...hahaha! We then spent a couple days here in Flagstaff, and ended the trip with a day in Jerome. We made birthday cupcakes and just enjoyed each others' company. It was a great visit and a wonderful way to spend my birthday.

Jerome with my wonderful friend, Ellen

 My birthday was a far cry from those Over The Hill parties that I remember my parents and their friends throwing for each other when they started taking turns turning 40. I remember black balloons and streamers, cupcakes with tombstones on them, cards with statements about being one foot in the grave, jokes abounded about the birthday girl or guy being so elderly he or she needed a walker or should start wearing adult diapers. I know people whose age has been a sore spot in the mirror for several years now. They don't like the fact that they're aging, they don't like the way their new age feels both on paper and in their joints, and I just have to wonder at the response they would have to a party thrown for them with tombstones everywhere. Some of them I know for a fact would not be amused, and might even be devastated. I'm not sensitive about my age and I don't know if I'd necessarily appreciate a party like that, but I think I'd be able to find the humor in it. I wonder if my parents or their friends were hurt or upset by the Over The Hill parties. I never thought to ask as I was making jokes about them remembering what it was like to live amongst the dinosaurs.

The thing is, I don't feel like 40 is old at all. I think it's entirely possible that some of my best years are yet to come. My 30's were far better than my 20's, and I'm hoping that my 40's follow that same pattern. Although I can't help but wonder...does being 40 make me middle-aged? Because that kind of sounds old, but 40 is halfway to 80 and I think 80 is a more than an acceptable age to check out of this life, so maybe I am middle aged, but I still don't feel old. I feel like there's so much left of this life to do and see and explore, and given the steps I've taken with my lifestyle and my finances, I'm in a perfect position to pursue those things.

In Alaska with Lindsey, Holly, Mike, and Simon

Despite the wisdom, financial stability, and personal acceptance and well-being that comes with age, there definitely are some drawbacks to aging, I won't deny that. However, I'm taking it head on and one day at a time. Here are some things I've been up to as of late...

How I'm feeling: I continue to gain weight. Having been consistently the same weight for so many years, this is a frustration that I feel a little inept to handle. Let's be honest, I don't really eat all that well, but I'm not a glutton either, and the fact of the matter is that over the years, my diet hasn't really changed all that much. Truthfully, I eat far better now than I used to a decade ago when I was downing Doritos like they were supplements and eating cheese like it was life-giving food from the gods (it isn't?). I need to understand that as I age, my metabolism and hormones are affecting my weight more than they used to, and I need to somehow account for that, but I don't know how. Maybe not eating ice cream at 10pm and then going to bed immediately afterward would be a start...hahaha! Luckily I'm not alone in this regard, as many of my friends are having the same issues as they age. A couple years back, late in the evening on New Year's Eve, a friend texted me "I'm so fucking fat." I wasn't quite sure what to make of it, and I questioned whether or not the text had actually been for me, as there was no preface or followup to it. Not wanting to be a jerk in the event that the text had, in fact, been for me, I responded with kind words of support. I heard nothing back that night and we haven't spoken of it since, and that's all right. Sometimes we have those weak moments where we just need to reach out, air our grievances, and never speak of them again. I get it. I'm there.

Staying informed: I read the news every morning and listen to NPR in the car. Granted, these are not bad things, but they're not exactly fun things either. I struggle to find the balance between wanting to be informed and being absolutely overwhelmed and disgusted by the information I'm given. Sometimes I take a break from all the crap coming out of Washington DC and scroll though a few Buzzfeed articles featuring cat videos or funny things children say. I'm also a huge fan of Tasty videos...I could watch those for hours while internally lamenting the fact that there is no one here to make the recipes and then feed them to me. Keeping my news intake light helps to keep it a little more real, and to let me know that life isn't as bad as the Huffington Post might make it seem (to be honest, Huff Post isn't a reliable source of information for me, it was just the first that came to mind).

Wine tasting with cute babies...a current hobby

What I'm watching: I am in bed by 9pm most nights, and that's typically a late night. Exceptions to this are when I'm elbows deep into an HBO or Netflix series; I can stay awake for hours watching those. While not typically a TV person, there's something about a well-done series that sucks me in every time. I just finished Season 2 of West World and have determined that I need to watch the entire season again, because that series is just too complicated to grasp on one viewing alone. I also watched Season 3 of Stranger Things and cried during the last episode...damn you, Hopper. As a guilty pleasure I also finished Season 3 of Divorce, starring Sarah Jessica Parker and Thomas Hayden Church, two actors I greatly admire, and a subject matter that is all too common these days: finding balance in blended households and dealing with all the emotional fallout that comes with the end of a relationship while still attempting to remain civil for the sake of the children. I think it's decently well done, although this is coming from me, who has neither been divorced nor has children, so take that with a grain of salt. Simon and I have just started His Dark Materials, which is a series adaptation of the Golden Compass books. I enjoyed the books and actually really liked the movie that they had made starring Daniel Craig (swoon); I was disappointed that they didn't continue the books as movies, but so far the series seems to be really well done and is expanding on the books in a way a feature length movie never could.

What I'm reading: I am currently reading a book called Flushed, which was given to me by a friend whose book choices always inspire me. Flushed is all about the history of plumbing starting thousands of years BC up until modern times. The book makes the very accurate point that plumbing is truly what separates the haves from the have nots, given that access to freshwater and reliable removal of wastewater can be the difference between life and death. It's actually a very fascinating read, and it's written with the right amount of humor to keep it interesting. Fun fact: the lead poisoning that caused the demise of the Roman Empire wasn't the lead pipes for plumbing, it was the fact that they were using lead as a sweetener, because apparently lead is sweet, which is also why modern day children eat the paint chips of lead-based paint. Interesting, eh? It's amazing to me the amount of nonfiction I read these days. I still enjoy Stephen King and I just finished The Handmaid's Tale, but I've started to alternate fictional books with non-fictional books. Bonus points given for a really good historical fiction book...those are my favorites.

What I'm wearing: The advent of athleisure (athletic wear worn in a leisure setting) has been about the best thing ever for me this past decade. Although lately I've been less inclined to be a walking billboard for Lululemon; I've been trying to change things up a bit. A friend of mine was recently completely shocked and surprised to see me in jeans. In fact, she commented that she's never seen me in jeans, and we've known each other for over 7 year now. Don't get me wrong, I love my Lululemon and I love the fact that I can gain weight and those high waisted leggings just tuck it all away as if it's not even there, but I don't feel the need to always look like I just came from the gym or the yoga studio (although, if we're to be honest, if you see me out and about, that's usually where I've just come from or will shortly be heading to). I am also enthralled by thrifting. I love that I can add a significant amount of name-brand and unique variety to my wardrobe by spending very little money, particularly if I shop half-priced days at Savers (every Monday) or Goodwill (every other Saturday). To supplement my thrifting, I hold quarterly Naked Lady Parties. What is a Naked Lady Party, you ask? Well, I get together with a bunch of my girlfriends, and we bring all our unwanted clothing and accessories, and have a clothing exchange whilst drinking wine and eating snacks. Free wardrobe additions, camaraderie, and lots of laughs. Some of my favorite wardrobe pieces are those I have pilfered from my Naked Lady Parties. One time my friend Andrew showed up, tried on a cardigan, dropped off his baby, and left. Never a dull moment.

Adventuring in Washington with Jim, Jess, and baby Raegan

Where I'm going: I don't have too many trips on the horizon. Truth be told I'm taking a much-needed break from traveling, which is good for me. It's nice to be home. I recently reorganized the kitchen and bathroom cupboards, trying to make the space more efficient, and I think I did a pretty good job of that. I like organizing things, and the cupboards were something that have needed to be addressed for some time but with so much coming and going over the past few months I couldn't be bothered to tackle it. I have one trip coming up before the end of the year, and I'm super excited about it. I'm going to Seattle in December with a bunch of ladies and we're going to see Brandi Carlile in concert with the Seattle Symphony Orchestra, something I've been wanting to do for years. We have one more ticket available if anyone wants to join, hit me up if you're interested! After Seattle there are some potential trips, including but not limited to: Whistler in February, Alaska in the spring, Florida in the spring, Hawaii in March, Phoenix in March (happening), Utah in April, Alaska in July (happening if my time off gets approved), Boston in July, and Minnesota in August (as per usual). I'm sure more potential adventures will pop up in the meantime, but for now I'm just enjoying being home with Simon and my dogs, enjoying my friends here in Flagstaff.

The old man

My dogs: Cooper continues to age, and while it's incredibly sad to think about his imminent demise, I'm prepared for it. I've had 15 wonderful years with him and I'm thankful for each and every one. He still makes me laugh everyday, and his favorite things are still going to bed, napping, and carrots. He is currently pestering me as I write and is refusing to lay in the pet bed that I intentionally placed next to my desk for him; most likely he is wanting me to go lay in bed with him or sit on the couch with him, although he doesn't actually want to snuggle, he just wants me to be in the bed or on the couch near him, but not touching. All in good time little buddy, all in good time. If I were to stand up right now he would inevitably hobble as quickly as possible down the hallway towards the bedroom, making his true intentions crystal clear: it is always bedtime. Always. Kiki continues to be an absolute delight, and I'm so incredibly grateful that she wandered into our lives. She is the sweetest, most wonderful, most caring dog I think I've ever met. She loves nothing more than a walk in the woods or a ride in the car (even though she sometimes pukes in the car...we're working on that). She, unlike Cooper, loves to snuggle. Unfortunately she prefers to snuggle with Simon over me, but when he's not available she's all mine. I've actually started a blog all about her...that'll be coming soon. Truth...I just got up and Cooper ran down the hallway and into the bedroom. So predictable. He's now standing next to my desk again, staring with his tail down, refusing to lie down in his bed that is mere inches from where he's standing. A day in the life, indeed.

A look ahead: Good friends, good food, good beer, good times. That's about all I could wish for myself. That and a camper van, a gas stove, a kitchen island, and a snowy winter so I can continue to slowly get better at skiing. All good things