Out With the Bad Air…In With the Good Air...

A buddy and I were recently airing our grievances about the time-suck machine that is Facebook.  We both agreed that we spend far too much time on it, and given that amount of time, we spend far too much of it irritated at what other people are posting.  Earlier this year, he went so far as to keep off Facebook for an entire month, and was quite pleased to see his productivity at work increase, he spent more time with his little ones in the evening, and he just felt better about life in general.  He's actually contemplating deleting his Facebook account entirely.  I'd be lying if I said the thought hadn't crossed my mind a time or two in the last month or so.

It's funny how communication has changed since Facebook, and admittedly, the internet in general.  I don't know that there's any social media site that has had the impact on our day-to-day lives that Facebook has.  Odds are pretty decent that if you can't reach someone by phone, text, or email, you can reach them on Facebook.  I don't know why this is.  Is there a disconnect?  Are people more comfortable conversing through the anonymity that Facebook provides, even if the person they are conversing with is a close friend or family member?  It's weird.  When you really stop to think about the number of people with whom you used to talk on a regular basis, whose friendship has now been transferred to the confines of Facebook, it gets a little sad.

What I've noticed in the last few years is how much stress Facebook has added to my life.  And it wasn't something that I was even aware of for a very long time.  In the last month or so, I've noticed how irritated I get when I go on Facebook.  Facebook used to be a place where I kept up with the goings on of my friends and family back home while I was on the road travel nursing.  It was great for that.  Even though I would be sad that I was missing out on a friend's BBQ or a camping trip, I still felt somewhat connected to them through photos and comments that they would post.  Through added features, I could follow some of my favorite musicians, intellectuals, artists, and stores.  I could "like" things, and they would show up on a list for me so I could go back and look at them later.  It was fun to see how much I could expand my world through a computer screen.  Until it wasn't.

Like anyone else, there are things that define me or things in which I take a personal interest.  I've been an atheist for years, but only recently have I been able to connect with other atheists…both in my personal circle and further out.  I had been following a few science intellectuals for a while, which I enjoyed.  But more often than not, I found that a lot of posts by fellow atheists didn't do much more than bash Christianity and organized religion as a whole.  It got tiring, it got irritating, it became maddening, seeing all these posts about clergy who had raped children, female circumcision, oppression, abuse, and murder all committed in the name of religion.  I would see these articles every day, and it made me angry.  It made me want to lash out at everyone who aligned themselves with any sort of organized religion.  Until I took a step back and realized that not every Christian is like that (of course, I already knew that, but it's hard to keep perspective when emotionally charged).  Admittedly, I posted some unkind things towards Christianity that were probably very hurtful to the majority of Christians I know, who also happen to be very good people.  And truly, that wasn't my intent.  I think there was a part of me that wanted to understand why people would take the Bible verbatim, why they would align themselves with a text that is brutal, violent, and very unkind to women.  I wanted to know how they got past the more disturbing tales in the Bible, yet still believed in it.  I don't think I'll ever understand it, and that's okay.  Live and let live.  I personally don't think I'm any more right or wrong than anyone else.  If you're okay with me being atheist, I'm okay with you being Christian, so long as it's not hurting anyone.  Although one's definition of what's hurtful or not is left wide open to interpretation.  I'm choosing to leave the conversation for the time being.

And then there is the political crap.  And I say crap intentionally because that's what it is.  One side is complaining about the liberal agenda, one side is complaining about the conservative agenda, when in fact, they both have an agenda…let's not kid ourselves about that one.  I've gotten suckered into many a conversation either defending my post or attacking another.  It's exhausting, and really, we're lucky if we know even 10% of what our government is actually doing, so what's the point in arguing about it?  I don't like seeing political posts, and for the most part, and they're all fluff and guesswork and fear-based diatribe.  It's like arguing about the existence of unicorns or sasquatches.  Nobody really knows, so they just pick a side and go with it.  And argue loudly about it.  I'm sick of posts that are hateful to our President.  As if any of these complainers could handle being in his shoes for an entire day.  If you really stop to think about it, being President of The United States has got to be one of the most thankless, yet still prestigious, jobs ever.  No matter what you do, what you wear, where you go, who you talk to, what you order at Chipotle, you're always pissing someone off.  You know what?  I like Obama.  I wouldn't mind meeting the man someday and shaking his hand.  Do I like everything about him?  Probably not, but I don't know him either.  He seems like a nice enough person, and seems to have good intentions.  Same with George W. Bush…he seemed nice enough.  I actually felt kind of bad for him being strapped to 9/11 so early on in his presidency.  I can't imagine having to deal with a situation like that.  The decisions he made in that instance, good, bad or otherwise, followed him throughout his entire time in office.  I thought that maybe he tried a little too hard to appeal to the least common denominator and maybe didn't make himself look too intelligent, but I think he actually is an intelligent person.  I don't think you can get to be President of the United States by being an idiot.  

I've come to the conclusion that Facebook has become, for some people, a platform to complain and start fights about anything and everything (myself included).  And that makes me sad, because I really used to enjoy coming on Facebook.  So, I'm doing something about it.  I'm unsubscribing from pages that get me emotionally charged.  I'm deleting or hiding friends and family members who post articles, videos, and comments that are offensive, unnecessary, or conspirational in nature.  And I will likewise hold myself to those same standards.  Maybe that's burying my head in the sand, but I just don't want to see it anymore.  I want Facebook to be fun for me again, not just a platform to attack people and spread negativity.  I saw a poster recently regarding conversation etiquette that advised people to consider three things before speaking: 1. Is is true? 2. Is it necessary? 3. Is it kind?  These three things can be applied to internet postings as well.  I find that a lot of negative and emotionally charged posts wouldn't make it past #1.  Even less would make it past #2.  And as for #3?  If you really feel the need to say something unkind to someone, don't be such a coward about it and say it to their face.  Don't hide behind your computer screen and attack them from your keyboard.

A friend of mine recently wondered aloud what Facebook would be like if we all just posted our own posts for one year…no reposting of articles, nothing taken from other peoples pages or sites…just pure originality.  I think it would be a very different Facebook.  I'm going to try that…for a month.  I can't commit to anything for a year, are you kidding me??        

I'm doing an experiment today.  I've gone on Facebook once this morning, and I'm going to stay off of it until tomorrow morning (well, outside of posting this on Facebook…hahaha!).  I know it's going to be hard, because when I honestly think about how often I go on there, how often that little red number shows up on my phone and I have a peek just to see what new notification I have (odds are it's one of those stupid game requests…stop sending me those!  I don't play games on Facebook! But it's all right if you do…).  Well, maybe hard isn't the right word, since checking Facebook has become almost as commonplace as going to the bathroom.  I even check Facebook sometimes when I'm in the bathroom…hahaha!  To be fair, I've read through all the bathroom readers that we have, so I'm currently lacking in reading material.  At least that's my current excuse.  I'm sure I could come up with others to rationalize my bathroom Facebooking.  But not today!!  Today, the phone will stay out of the bathroom.  I will set it aside on its little charger and just let it be.

I want to start blogging again (I have about 5 that are unfinished), to get back to my pile of scrapbooking mess that I've been turning a blind eye to for the last 8 months (years behind…years), to get outside and run around, to walk my little dog, to call a friend or two whom I haven't spoken to in months, to dig around in my garden (our tomatoes are growing!!), to get out on my bike.  Facebook, in one way or another, takes away from all those things.  Because I've allowed it to.  And I'm not going to anymore.  I feel better already.  :)